Photographs show that I became overweight somewhere between my fourth
and fifth birthdays. It's not surprising, really; heredity played a
large role, but my environment didn't help matters. I was raised by my
grandparents, and my grandma was an excellent cook who specialized in
country cooking. Biscuits and gravy, chicken and dumplings, and mashed
potatoes were frequently served. Almost every night at dinner - excuse me, supper,
and fifth birthdays. It's not surprising, really; heredity played a
large role, but my environment didn't help matters. I was raised by my
grandparents, and my grandma was an excellent cook who specialized in
country cooking. Biscuits and gravy, chicken and dumplings, and mashed
potatoes were frequently served. Almost every night at dinner - excuse me, supper,
a large stack of white bread part of that night's spread. My grandma also
enjoyed spoiling me, food playing a big role.
enjoyed spoiling me, food playing a big role.
 |
| 6 years old |
Shortly before my tenth birthday, my grandpa died of a massive heart
attack. This and other circumstances caused my grandma to have to work
two jobs. We started making frequent trips through fast food
drive-thrus. A lot of prepackaged convenience foods like Hot
Pockets and french bread pizzas became regular parts of my diet,
serving to only increase my weight gain. I wasn't active, either - I
was never interested in sports and I preferred sitting in front of the
TV or reading to playing outside. I did try dance class but was
clumsy, inflexible, and generally regarded with derision by my
classmates, who didn't look like sausages stuffed into their tights
and leotards. I quit after one year.
Being a fat kid is no fun. I was taunted about my weight daily at
school. I remember hanging uselessly at the bottom of the rope in gym
class, unable to climb an inch, and the cliche of getting picked last for every team certainly
applied to me. As I got older and kids became fashion-conscious, I was
unable to fit into Guess jeans and most other trendy clothing. I was
convinced my weight was the cause of all my social problems and
constantly resolved to "get skinny", but I didn't have the first clue
how to do so.
By the time I started high school, I didn't care about popularity any
more, and I'd adopted a tough-girl persona who was quick to make fun
of others before they could make fun of me. But being fat was still
challenging. Getting in and out of those tiny desks was difficult and
humiliating. PE was dreadful. During my freshman year, everyone was required
to run a mile. I couldn't run more than a minute or two at a time, let alone a mile.
attack. This and other circumstances caused my grandma to have to work
two jobs. We started making frequent trips through fast food
drive-thrus. A lot of prepackaged convenience foods like Hot
Pockets and french bread pizzas became regular parts of my diet,
serving to only increase my weight gain. I wasn't active, either - I
was never interested in sports and I preferred sitting in front of the
TV or reading to playing outside. I did try dance class but was
clumsy, inflexible, and generally regarded with derision by my
classmates, who didn't look like sausages stuffed into their tights
and leotards. I quit after one year.
Being a fat kid is no fun. I was taunted about my weight daily at
school. I remember hanging uselessly at the bottom of the rope in gym
class, unable to climb an inch, and the cliche of getting picked last for every team certainly
applied to me. As I got older and kids became fashion-conscious, I was
unable to fit into Guess jeans and most other trendy clothing. I was
convinced my weight was the cause of all my social problems and
constantly resolved to "get skinny", but I didn't have the first clue
how to do so.
By the time I started high school, I didn't care about popularity any
more, and I'd adopted a tough-girl persona who was quick to make fun
of others before they could make fun of me. But being fat was still
challenging. Getting in and out of those tiny desks was difficult and
humiliating. PE was dreadful. During my freshman year, everyone was required
to run a mile. I couldn't run more than a minute or two at a time, let alone a mile.
I acted like I was too cool to care.
By the time I turned 16, I had managed to lose a little weight, mainly due
to having a busy social life that left little time to be sedentary. My
friends were my life, and we walked all over town at times. When I
weighed myself for my driver's license, I was 180 pounds. At my full
adult height of 5'5", that made me borderline obese according to today's BMI
By the time I turned 16, I had managed to lose a little weight, mainly due
to having a busy social life that left little time to be sedentary. My
friends were my life, and we walked all over town at times. When I
weighed myself for my driver's license, I was 180 pounds. At my full
adult height of 5'5", that made me borderline obese according to today's BMI
guidelines, but it was a weight I was pleased with.
 |
| Me at 16, hanging out with a good friend |
I met the man who would become my husband right after I graduated from
high school. Owning a car and working at a fast food restaurant had
caused me to put some weight back on, but I was around a size 18.
Jason was older than me by 5 years, he was a tattoo artist, and he was
hot! I didn't think there was any way he would go for
a fat girl like me, but I was shocked to find out I was wrong. We got
married on the fourth anniversary of our first date. Throughout our 15 years together,
high school. Owning a car and working at a fast food restaurant had
caused me to put some weight back on, but I was around a size 18.
Jason was older than me by 5 years, he was a tattoo artist, and he was
hot! I didn't think there was any way he would go for
a fat girl like me, but I was shocked to find out I was wrong. We got
married on the fourth anniversary of our first date. Throughout our 15 years together,
Jason has always told me I'm beautiful, no matter my size.
I leveled out at the same weight, more or less, until I became
pregnant with our first child. I took "eating for two" very seriously,
and it didn't help that starchy foods were what settled my stomach
during the queasy first trimester. I put on more than 60 pounds during
my pregnancy, and my 8-pound daughter only accounted for a fraction of that!
After Octavia was born, for the first time in my life I had to buy
size 20 pants.
My weight continued to increase. I was a young, first-time,
stay-at-home mom with no mom friends (at first) and a lot of time on
my hands. As Octavia got older, I got in the habit of eating dinner
with her around 5:00 and then having a second dinner with Jason when
he got home from work four or five hours later. The "fourth meal"
concept was already very familiar to me when Taco Bell introduced it
as a marketing tool. I ate my way to a size 22. I didn't
want to step on a scale at this point in my life, but I vividly
remember the one time I did. It said 246.
I still didn't change my eating habits, and I became pregnant with my
second child, eating ravenously throughout that pregnancy, too.
Incredibly, it was a pregnancy free of complications common to obese
mothers, such as gestational diabetes or high blood pressure. Labor
and delivery was equally complication-free, and relatively quick, even
though Orion was 9 pounds, 7 ounces. (It is common for obese mothers
to have high birth-weight babies.)
I leveled out at the same weight, more or less, until I became
pregnant with our first child. I took "eating for two" very seriously,
and it didn't help that starchy foods were what settled my stomach
during the queasy first trimester. I put on more than 60 pounds during
my pregnancy, and my 8-pound daughter only accounted for a fraction of that!
After Octavia was born, for the first time in my life I had to buy
size 20 pants.
My weight continued to increase. I was a young, first-time,
stay-at-home mom with no mom friends (at first) and a lot of time on
my hands. As Octavia got older, I got in the habit of eating dinner
with her around 5:00 and then having a second dinner with Jason when
he got home from work four or five hours later. The "fourth meal"
concept was already very familiar to me when Taco Bell introduced it
as a marketing tool. I ate my way to a size 22. I didn't
want to step on a scale at this point in my life, but I vividly
remember the one time I did. It said 246.
I still didn't change my eating habits, and I became pregnant with my
second child, eating ravenously throughout that pregnancy, too.
Incredibly, it was a pregnancy free of complications common to obese
mothers, such as gestational diabetes or high blood pressure. Labor
and delivery was equally complication-free, and relatively quick, even
though Orion was 9 pounds, 7 ounces. (It is common for obese mothers
to have high birth-weight babies.)
 |
| With newborn Orion, December 25, 2006 |
When my children were 5 and 2, in January of 2009, I decided I had to
do something. I didn't want my kids to be embarrassed of their mom as
they grew older. I wanted to be able to keep up with them. I didn't
want to have to miss out on things like roller coasters because I
couldn't fit in the seat. Most of all, I wanted to be there for them.
My own father, like his father before him, had passed away just a few years earlier from a massive
heart attack in his early 50s. He was morbidly obese and diabetic
do something. I didn't want my kids to be embarrassed of their mom as
they grew older. I wanted to be able to keep up with them. I didn't
want to have to miss out on things like roller coasters because I
couldn't fit in the seat. Most of all, I wanted to be there for them.
My own father, like his father before him, had passed away just a few years earlier from a massive
heart attack in his early 50s. He was morbidly obese and diabetic
(and also a three-pack-a-day smoker, so at least I was doing something right!).
I knew without a doubt I was headed down
that path. I wanted to be around for my adult children and know my
grandchildren. I picked up my dad's old copy of The South Beach Diet
and started reading.
that path. I wanted to be around for my adult children and know my
grandchildren. I picked up my dad's old copy of The South Beach Diet
and started reading.
 |
| Just before I decided to make a big change! |
It made a lot of sense. I found I now had the knowledge to get my
eating under control. I stepped on the scale, weighing in at 240
pounds, and embarked on the first diet I had ever gone on in my life.
Per the program, I did two weeks of Phase One to start out,
eliminating pasta, bread, rice, potatoes, fruit, and starchy
vegetables. In those first two weeks, I lost 16 pounds, which
motivated me to keep going. In the next year, I lost a total of 60
pounds - and that was without exercising until about six months in!
 |
| March of 2010, after losing 60 pounds |
Then I got pregnant. I did what I swore I wouldn't do: I treated pregnancy as a license to
eat whatever I wanted. I still remember putting that first bag of
bagels into my shopping cart. (I ate two that day.) I told myself that
I'd just enjoy eating during my pregnancy and I'd get back on track
after I gave birth. My pregnancy was again complication-free, and
labor and delivery was so quick I didn't even have time for an
epidural. When Lucia was eight weeks old, I went back on South Beach.
I knew what to do this time. The food lists were burned into my brain.
eat whatever I wanted. I still remember putting that first bag of
bagels into my shopping cart. (I ate two that day.) I told myself that
I'd just enjoy eating during my pregnancy and I'd get back on track
after I gave birth. My pregnancy was again complication-free, and
labor and delivery was so quick I didn't even have time for an
epidural. When Lucia was eight weeks old, I went back on South Beach.
I knew what to do this time. The food lists were burned into my brain.
A week later, my entire world fell apart. My husband was hit by a drunk driver when he was coming home from work on his motorcycle. His injuries were mainly confined to
his left leg, which ultimately was amputated through the knee. After
being up all night at the hospital and waiting to be given the okay to
visit him in his room in ICU, I went to the cafeteria as soon as it
opened and ordered biscuits and gravy and hash browns. He endured
multiple surgeries and was hospitalized for a total of 28 days, so I
ate a lot more cafeteria food, along with fast food while on the go
between my family and the hospital. I definitely eat when I'm
stressed, and this was by far the most stressful experience I ever
had. Any diet plans were totally forgotten.
Almost another year passed before I truly faced the fact that I had
managed to regain all but 15 of the 60 pounds I had initially lost.
Back on South Beach I went. The weight started coming off,
although not at nearly the rapid pace it had the first time around. A
couple of months later, in March of 2012, I started a Couch to 5K
program and finally started running, something I had been talking
about for years. I discovered the My Fitness Pal app and pretty much
abandoned South Beach in favor of calorie counting, but the weight was
coming off, especially since I was exercising regularly, running three
days a week and cross-training on 2-3 other days of the week.
although not at nearly the rapid pace it had the first time around. A
couple of months later, in March of 2012, I started a Couch to 5K
program and finally started running, something I had been talking
about for years. I discovered the My Fitness Pal app and pretty much
abandoned South Beach in favor of calorie counting, but the weight was
coming off, especially since I was exercising regularly, running three
days a week and cross-training on 2-3 other days of the week.
This brings me to today. I have lost all the weight I regained, plus another 20
or so pounds. I haven't reached my goal weight yet, but I'm getting close!
I'm currently re-thinking nutrition and the way I'm going to reach that goal,
but that's a topic in itself. I'm training for a half marathon. I'm learning to lift weights.
I have more energy and feel healthier than I ever have in my life.
I buy size 8 pants and medium shirts, which is something I never would have dreamed
possible. Actually, for most of life I would never have thought this possible, which is
why I truly believe that if I can do it, anyone can!
